Welcome to the wonderful world of CAPTAIN TIPTOES and THE OCCASIONAL SNACK COMPANY. A world where seriously splendid snackage meets complete and utter buffoonery - all impeccably delivered with wit, charm and a dash of sophistication…
So does the Captain really exist? Is it a He or a She or Something In Between? Is the occasional snack right for me? Well, you'll be delighted and relieved to hear the answers are yes, yes and most definitely yes.
What we do know is the Captain is always well buffed, snipped, clipped, and neatly trimmed and eagerly wishes to present, for your delight and edification, a brand new range of snacks with a curious twist, a knowing smile and the occasional moustache.
Actually, and here's the truthful bit, Captain Tiptoes is wholly owned, operated and occasionally kept under control, by those rather nice folks at Olives Et Al who've been producing the most wondrous Olives, Dressings, Sauces, Snacks and other assorted delights for a few years now. However, as there aren't any olives in the bags we didn't think calling everything Olives Et Al was always such a good idea so since one of us was once in the Army and one of us was a Ballet Dancer at some point we decided to combine the pair and Alakazam! Captain Tiptoes was born and the captain really wants you to know that everything in the bags is either personally roasted by us or sourced by us and ought to taste perfectly proper and just as the Captain ordered.
Even better, your journey never just ends at the bottom of the bag. Everyone's invited to enlist in the Captain's Troop (or is it a troupe?) of Occasional Snacketeers to be an occasional taster (in other words you stand the chance to get free stuff).
Irresistibly Taut Roasted Almonds, Cashews & Peanuts wonderfully enhanced with Cajun Style Spices.
That stiff upper lipped, moustachioed and perfectly proper CAPTAIN TIPTOES (piscatorially assisted by Crawford the banjo playing catfish) bring you these Magnificent Cajun Spiced Nuts… Fishily efficient Crawford juggles these Cajun spiced roasted nuts bag-wards for your hunger ending satisfaction. Delight Crawford and his Cajun cousins by picking up the nearest banjo and start praying for deliverance. Cosy.
Redoubtably Firm Rice Crackers spiced with Wasabi.
That crisply seamed, erect and square to the front CAPTAIN TIPTOES (aided by The Great Fujimoto Flyer, human cannonball extraordinaire) insist you try these balls of fire… With incendiary purpose in his glinting eyes and powered by nothing more than hope, faith and exceptional fiery balls, The Great Fujimoto Flyer mounted the cannon and exploded manfully across the skies. Don't try this at home. Too messy.
Courageously Pert Freshly roasted Almonds and Peanuts spiced with sweet North African Style Harissa.
Well trimmed, closely cropped and neatly buffed CAPTAIN TIPTOES (aerially aided by the Levantine Wonder, Assim Yazda, Sultan of the Skies) beget you Hot Nuts… Not for the innocent, faint hearted or your double humped camelesque loved one, these chaps work their magic in a sweetly warm and positively dromedarian fashion. Camel stopped? Solution: Jump off, Hump off, Pump up, Hump up, Jump up, Camel, Camel, Camel... Perfect.
Fire Cracker Rice Puffs
Grippingly Stout Rice Crackers Spiced with Chilli.
The impeccably waxed, neatly trimmed and well buffed CAPTAIN TIPTOES (magically helped by Sorcerer Chun Ling Soo, Master of the Arcane) convey you these little scorchers… Conjured from the fevered mind of Chun Ling, and forged from rice by little elves wearing nothing but a smile and adorned with festive baubles, these fiery crackers really mean business. Standby!
Salt & Pepper Nuts
Undeniably Crisp Freshly Roasted Peanuts condimentally spiked with Salt and Black Pepper.
That snipped, clipped and stiff upper lipped CAPTAIN TIPTOES (delicately assisted by the enchanting Catalina, a real life mermaid) bring you these rather brilliant little beauties… Salt? Pepper? Going together in perfect harmony? On a Peanut? With a mermaid? Whoever heard of such a liberty being taken with the condiments? Be warned: Maiden Aunts and Butlers everywhere will swoon with an attack of the vapours. Salty (oh, and Peppery).
Company: Olives Et Al
Brand: Captain Tiptoes
Slogan: Irresistably Taut
Variants: Cajun Spiced Nuts, Wasabi Rice Balls, Salt & Pepper Nuts, Fire Cracker Rice Puffs, Chilli Harissa Nuts